A Normal Day for the Akatsuki  Prologue
by XXTechnoXMasterXX
Summary: What's it like every day for the Akatsuki?  Absolute chaos.
1. Hidan and Kakuzu at the Hideout

**A Normal Day Akatsuki Prologue**

"LISTEN! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT WHAT YOU SAY KAKUZU! I'M GOING TO DO MY JASHIN-DAMNED SACRIFICES IN THE KITCHEN!" Hidan yells through the archway of the kitchen that separated the kitchen from the hallway that was only part of the living room.

"Oh no you aren't! Do you know how much that's going to cost me to get the blood out of the flooring? Plus, Pein and Konan will have our damn heads!" Kakuzu yells right back at him.

Hidan turns around and Kakuzu can almost see the steam rising off his shoulders and gets some kick out of pissing off the immortal. Then Hidan smiles and grabs a dagger then starts to walk slowly towards Kakuzu with an evil grin on his face.

Kakuzu tries to back up but is blocked by the couch. "Hidan? Why are you looking at me like that? Hello? Hidan? Come on you damn Jashinist! Answer me!"

Hidan stops walking toward the poor banker and looks at the ceiling. "Dear Lord Jashin, please take my humble offering." He mumbles and then continues walking towards poor Kakuzu.

"Oh shit. . ." Kakuzu mumbles and reaches for anything that might save him from his deranged friend.

Hidan can't hold back his laughter that he's been hiding so well and he falls onto his back; laughing and pointing at his friend's gaping face.

"Oh God! I didn't know I could scare you that bad, dumbass! Oh Jashin, I think my damn rib broke!" Hidan says and continues to laugh even harder at his own pain.

Now Kakuzu, extremely pissed off, looks for a weapon. He grabs a large pocket knife and starts walking toward the laughing Jashinist who is still on the floor, crying because he's laughing so hard.

"Hidan. What did you just say?" Kakuzu says as a blood lust type of look spreads across his face.

Hidan's laughing seems to be calming down by this point as he wipes away a few tears. "Kakuzu? Why are you looking at me liked that?" He asks as his head hits the counter of kitchen and uses it to get up. "Kakuzu? Hey dumbass, I'm talking to you! Answer me, damn it!"

Kakuzu turns his head to the side, an evil smile coming across his face. "You know, you God forsaken immortal, it would actually be better to stay with your relatives than stay here with me while the others are out getting food. . ." He says in a deranged voice.

Hidan was visibly worrying about his friend at this point. "Kakuzu? Are you alright?" He stops to think a little. "Have you been drinking? Because we all know what happens when you're drunk." He says and laughs half-heartedly, trying to not to show he's actually a little scared by his friend's odd actions.

"Oh, I haven't been drinking at all. I've actually been sober for a month, unlike you, my bastard of a teammate."

Hidan grabs his pendant of Jashin and mumbles a prayer. "Jashin, please, please stop making my friend act this way," Hidan looks back at Kakuzu and sees him advancing faster at him. ". . .but first - SAVE ME!" Hidan yells and runs up the stairs, trying to make it to the attic.

"JASHIN CAN'T SAVE YOU NOW!"

Hidan slams the door behind him and locks it. "How the hell am I going to live through this?" He looks at the window. "Okay, to hell with all this!" He says and jumps out the window on the other side of the room.

The poor, badly shaken Jashinist lands on his feet and walks to the front door of the house. He sees his friends right as they see him.

"Hidan? What happened, un?" Deidara says once he sees the shaking Jashinist.

Hidan opens his mouth but closes it again, his voice isn't working.

"Kakuzu didn't sell any of my puppets did he?" Sasori asks with concern, but not for Hidan, only for his woodwork.

Hidan shakes his head no.

"Then what the hell happened you idiot?" Pein asks, he was getting impatient, and man Hidan didn't want to see Pein pissed off.

Hidan walks back to the front door and opens it. "If I die, none of you are getting my stuff."

"Like anyone would want it. . ." The red eyed Itachi Uchiha

Hidan looks back inside, his heart nearly busting out of it's cage. "Here I go. I'm going inside."

"Just go inside already, I mean. If you aren't scared or anything." The blue-skinned Kisame teases.

"I AM NOT SCARED! AND BY JASHIN-DAMN IT! I'M GOING TO DO THIS!" Hidan snaps back at him.

Hidan walks inside and closes the door.

The rest of the Akatsuki members start to talk on the other side of the door.

"Why do you think Hidan is so scared, un?" Deidara says.

"I don't know. But if it scares Hidan, it can't be good. . ." Sasori replies to the blonde.

Right after Sasori replies, they hear screaming, then pounding, followed by a large string of curses - coming from Hidan.

"Wow, Tobi didn't know Hidan could scream like a girl!"

"Stop shouting, Tobi! Or else I'm going to make you shut up permanently, un!" Deidara snaps.

Tobi shrinks into Kisame. "Tobi doesn't want to die, Deidara sempai!"

Kisame pushes him away. "Shut up, both of you! I think I hear something! I would back away from the door. . ."

Everyone does as Kisame instructed. Sure enough, Hidan comes busting out of the house, running off to a different building.

Everyone looks at the door that Hidan just busted down and saw Kakuzu leaning against the frame, a bleeding dagger in his hand and a sick and demonic grin covering his face.

"God, I love torturing that kid. Come on, idiots. Time is money and I don't want the electronics running longer than they just barely need to be." He says, knocking everyone out of their shocked states.


	2. Hidan During School

**A Normal Day Akatsuki 1**

Konan, Pein, Deidara, and Sasori choose to stay outside while the rest bravely follow Kakuzu inside. Deidara stands there, visibly shaking, actually seeing Hidan so scared was making him have second thoughts about sharing a house with Kakuzu. Every time there's even the slightest crash, it makes Konan jump as close to Pein as she could possible get, making her boyfriend smile.

Itachi's head pops around the corner of the doorframe, making the four others jump from surprise. "Come on, you weaklings, it's safe. . .for now. . ."

Deidara is so scared by Itachi's sudden appearance that he jumps into Sasori's arms. "AH! Sasori no Danna, I don't want Kakuzu to kill me!" He shouts right into Sasori's ear, much to the puppet master's disliking.

Sasori drops the poor blonde right onto the ground. "Shut up brat and come on."

Deidara gets up and rubs his back. "Yes, Sasori Danna. . ." He mumbles.

A car drives by and the Akatsuki could hear whistles; probably aimed at Deidara.

"I'M A BOY, UN! GOD, YOU DAMN PERVERTS!" Deidara yells at the driving car.

Sasori rolls his eyes and drags Deidara in and tosses him into the living room then goes and gets Tobi. So in a few seconds, Tobi's flying in the direction of Deidara.

"TOBI! NO, NO, NO! DON'T-" Deidara says it too late, because Tobi lands right on top of him. "Land on me. . ." Deidara mumbles the last part as he pushes Tobi away.

-A Day Later During School-

"Ma'am, can you please take your seat?" The teacher asks Deidara, interrupting his argument against Sasori about art.

Deidara turns around, grinding his teeth so the whole class can hear it. "I AM A DAMN BOY, UN!"

The teacher instantly turns bright red. "Oh, I'm so sorry. . .I didn't-" He's interrupted by a sudden scream that sounds more horrifying than a scream of an actor that was made by a girl who was sitting next to Hidan.

"OH MY GOD!" She yells.

The teacher looks at Hidan and sees a knife going straight through one side of his arm and out the other. "OH MY GOD! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

Hidan looks up at him and smiles. "HELL YEAH! THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR!" He says and stabs himself again.

"STOP THAT! I DON'T WANT ANYONE DYING IN MY CLASS!" The teacher yells at him.

"IT'S PART OF MY RELIGION! YOU DARE DENY MY PRACTICES?"

"LEAVE MY CLASSROOM!"

"I'D BE HAPPY TO!" Hidan says and grabs Tobi by the back of his mask. "BUT, I'LL NEED A SACRIFICE IN RETURN!"

"TOBI DOESN'T WANT TO DIE, DEIDARA SENPAI!" Tobi pleads to Deidara who was sitting next to him.

Deidara shakes his head. "No, apparently I'm to 'GIRLY' to help you Tobi, see ya in hell, un." He says while giving the teacher a dirty look.

Zetsu stands up. "Put Tobi down, Hidan. . ." He growls.

"YOU WISH, YOU CRAZY-ASSED BIATCH!" Hidan smiles and moves his hand down onto Tobi's neck, acting like he was going to choke the poor masked boy. "SEE YA IN HELL, YOU JASHIN-DAMNED BASTARDS!" He says and runs out of the room, taking Tobi with him.

Sasori gets up. "Teacher, I can go get him if you want."

Deidara stands up next to Sasori. "Me too."

Pein, Konan, Itachi, Kisame, and Kakuzu also stand up. "I'll go get the ropes again. . ." Kakuzu says and walks out of the room, not even asking for permission to leave.

Pein puts his arm around Konan. "Come on Konan, we better go help him." Konan nods and the two walk out of the room, following Kakuzu.

The rest of the Akatsuki was about to speak but the teacher interrupts them. "Go, just go! Get you crazy friend and bring him back to class, even if you have to knock him out, hog tie him, and drag him in here. . ."

Every member of the Akatsuki met up on the stairs of the high school, Hidan smiling.

"Jashin, I didn't believe he would actually buy into the whole story." Hidan says and starts laughing.

"Just wait till tomorrow, guys." Pein says and smiles.


End file.
